As guitar players, we all understand the importance of owning as many guitars as possible. But sometimes, our significant others or financial advisors may not quite see things the same way. So, to help our fellow guitar enthusiasts navigate these delicate conversations, we've come up with a list of loosely rationalized, yet compelling excuses sure to persuade the most skeptical critics.
- You're doing your part for the environment. Purchasing used guitars is an important way to help save the planet. As guitar players, we have an obligation to do our part by giving old, forgotten guitars a new home. If not for you, that 1954 Stratocaster might be sitting in a landfill somewhere.
- The survival of the human race depends on it. We live in an age of man vs machines and in the near future, guitar playing robots will no doubt attempt a takeover of the gigs and session work human guitar players depend on for survival. Now is the time to stockpile an arsenal of guitars to be able to rise up against the onslaught of cyborg six stringers trying to take our jobs.
- It's an investment in your future. In uncertain times, it's important to have a diverse portfolio. By investing in guitars, you're hedging against inflation and adding a valuable asset to your portfolio that will almost certainly appreciate over time. By purchasing another guitar, you're demonstrating that you’re able to make smart financial decisions that will pay off in the long run.
- You're supporting small businesses. By purchasing a new guitar, you're helping to support businesses and artisans who craft high-quality instruments by hand. You're not just buying a guitar, you're supporting the long-term health of your local community and economy at large.
- You need a different guitar for every genre of music. From country to prog rock, every genre has its own unique sound that can only be achieved with the right instrument. If your significant other ever hopes for you to transition from belting out heavy metal riffs to accompanying her favorite Jazz ballads, you’re gonna need to make sure you have the right tool for the job.
- Guitars are the perfect decor. A guitar makes a beautiful statement of artistic craftsmanship no painting or sculpture could ever match. But it’s important to have the right color, model and style to pull together a room like a pro. Unlike furniture, guitars can be easily moved from room to room to instantly redecorate. As Martha Stewart said, “nothing makes a house a home more than a guitar.” (Not that Martha Stewart; we’re talking about a different one.)
- It's an investment in your mental health. As a musician, you know that playing an instrument is a great way to relieve stress and improve your mood. Owning multiple guitars is a diverse investment in your well-being and a guarantee that you will always have a way to escape the stresses of everyday life and find peace through music.
- You're following your destiny. The law of attraction states that you can manifest your desires by focusing on them with intention and positive energy. By visualizing yourself with another guitar and taking action to make it happen, you're tapping into the power of positive thinking to turn your dreams into reality. Once these skills are refined through multiple guitar acquisitions, anything will be possible.
- You’re preserving your family name. Guitars are the ideal family heirloom. Regardless of whether the current generation appreciates it, by purchasing another guitar, you're creating a legacy that future generations will cherish. Who knows, this impressive collection might even inspire a museum someday and preserve your family name for posterity.
- You are expanding your capacity to love. Every new guitar that you add to your collection increases your capacity to love and demonstrates that you can create life-long attachments. That capacity to love no doubt transcends your collection and transfers to those closest to you.
In conclusion, purchasing another guitar isn't just a frivolous indulgence, it's an investment in your passions and the future of those around you. By continuing to expand your collection, you're opening up new horizons and becoming a better person. Life is full of regrets. Don’t let putting off that next guitar purchase become one of them. Even if it takes a little fuzzy reasoning to pull it off, the world will be a better place for it.